@WheelTod: Just got your text from last night: you need to cut the red wire first to stop the countdown.
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@Mindless4Miles: Don’t mess with me. I come from a generation that would walk to a mail box to mail a letter if we were angry enough with you.
@Megatronic13: [swimming pool] Me: but what if there’s a shark in there? Lifeguard: that's impossible Shark: *popping head out of the water* I have an English degree and it’s improbable
@bourgeoisalien: I'm sorry I asked if your toddler is a skinhead, but in my defense he is bald and always disproportionately angry.