@turtledumplin

Just had a customer giving me his email and he said “E as in X-ray” 😭

You Might Also Like

@iAmDelFreaky

Mom: Any big plans today?

Me: Yes, of course, my friend is coming over and…

Mom: The mail doesn’t come on Sundays.

Me: Oh, then no. :'(

@ThanosSmiling

I’m starting to suspect that maybe 2020 was not the reason for my problems.

@gobmentcheese

Stranger: I’m calling from inside the house.
Me: *screams* Wait, do I have a landline?

@Social_Mime

My wife and I have a rule whoever is driving controls the radio, unless I’m driving and then she controls the radio.

@hazelsheart15

trying not to judge stupid people too harshly anymore because it turns out i’m people and oh man am i stupid.

@PavelASamsonov

It’s actually only “Helvetica” if it comes from the Helvetia region of Europe. Otherwise you have to call it “sparkling Arial”

@EndhooS

[1st day at Subway]
Boss: u said u’d done this before
Me: [painting myself in marinara sauce] I’m really more of an abstract sandwich artist