*sees lawn gnome cartwheel into room*
*calls to renew prescription*
Just howling at the moon and eating whatever I can find until my navel pops out like an angry elevator button, how about you?
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Seize the day!
*Sees the day, goes back to bed*
*Jumps out of bed
“Seize the day!!”
*Calls in sick
My followers loving my retweets but ignoring my own tweets like greedy children gobbling up junk food & ignoring their nutritious vegetables
My dog is starting a food blog where she writes about the delicious flavors of the various paper napkins she finds and eats.
How to Talk to Women Who Are Inside an MRI Tube
“Pray, love, eat.” — A mantis
The secret society of the bean keepers is called the leguminati.
When the bell on your bus doesn’t work…
this is so top tier i cant