@timdonakowski: Just lean back in your chair and say "caloric". It's exhilerating.
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@jctwritesstuff: So there's a legend that in 1593, a soldier in Manila teleported to Mexico and I've never felt so connected to the lengths someone will go to for tacos.
@JillianKarger: DATE: what’s your favorite movie? ME: Se-seven-en DATE: you mean Se7en? it’s just seven spelled with a 7 instead of a V ME: *scoffs* you really think the creators of a great movie like Se-seven-en would do something that dumb
@Vodkantots: It's like my mother always told me, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Then she said I looked fat.