Mathematics is the only place you can buy 60 watermelons and no one questions you
Just once, I want someone to kick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
You Might Also Like
Just donated blood. I hope whoever gets it likes wine.
Party hack: Let your guests know it’s time to leave by having your child play a musical instrument.
It’s weird they report fantasy football during Sports Center. That’s like the local news telling us how your SimCity is doing.
My new coloring book, How To Tell The Woman You Love You’ve Been Living In Her Shrubs For A Year, comes out on tUESsdhay martha i love you
“Is there a Mrs. Prime?” — EVERY GIRL TRANSFORMER EVER, I MEAN LOOK AT HIM
I knew this girl, she’s really deep; she’d always find a reason to preach about how size does matter…
A hand grenade to a daycare? RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______.
I only have 4 months left on that mirror I broke in 2005.
Be the reason why you need two priests at your exorcism.