@amanda_c_rae: Just saw a Facebook status that said “ironing boards are just surfboards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs” and I laughed out loud... Can’t tell if it’s funny or if I’m just overtired
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@AlanFelyk: I like to write "made you look" on folded pieces of paper and place them under car windshield wipers in parking lots.
@voldemortsbicep: *in bed* Him: what's your fantasy, baby? Me: Scrooge McDuck but skittles instead of gold Him: No, like sexual Me: Scrooge McDuck but skittl-
@lovemydogduck: My son's method of Laundry: If it's clean it's on the floor. If it's dirty then it goes on the floor over there.