Dad owl: I’m dying so I need you to look after things. I’m going to give you-
Son owl: Don’t say it
Dad: Power of a tawny
Son: [turns head]
“Just so you know, you’re coming home with me tonight.” I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
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I want my friends and family at my funeral, but more than that, I want a mysterious stranger watching from behind a tree
If I hadn’t heard these words my entire life, “nooks and crannies” would sound like slurs
I got a haircut and grabbed some
shampoo at the checkout line.
Her : “Do you want a bag ?”
Me : “OMG…is the haircut that bad ?”
houseguest: is this a pull out couch
me: no we kind of just hope for the best
IM ALMOST POSITIVE THATS JUST A COOKIE
Sure bro, I watch boxing all the ti- HEY DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?! HE JUST PUNCHED THAT GUY! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS!
When I have a tough decision, I ask myself…
“What would Jesus do?”
Then, I remember how things turned out for him…
And, flip a coin.
[Back To the Future, 2018]
Marty’s dad: She texted me back! What do I say??
Marty: I got it. Lemme see…*sends SpongeBob gif and immediatly starts disappearing*