@daplusk

Just took a power nap on a park bench. Made $7.30 in change.

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@HeidiGolightly

Do I still have feelings for my ex husband?

Yes.

I think “stabby” is a feeling, right?

@MikeBigby

Knuckle tats:

(M)(Y)(P)(A)(R)(E)(N)(T)(S)

(W)(E)(R)(E)(R)(E)(L)(A)(T)(E)(D)

@suntzufuntzu

[Antiques Roadshow]
When this was first painted, the wolves were much further in the background. I would sell it before they reach the frame

@9to5Life

I hate when people text me “what are you doing?” at 1:00 pm on a weekday.

Well I don’t have your Art History degree, so probably “working”.

@ImLeslieChow

I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.

@drsammytweets

Entomologic:

Firefly= not a fly
Butterfly= not a fly
Mayfly= not a fly
Stonefly= not a fly
Scorpionfly= not a fly

Bee louse= fly

This has been “Entomologic”
#entomologic #entomology #SciComm #bugjokes

@Ristolable

Did you see that? That’s the third time she came over here. I think she likes me.
“This is Applebee’s and she is our waitress”