@shutupmikeginn: Just tried to watch a James Bond movie and wow, first thing that happens is he walks into frame and fires his gun at me, the viewer. I have never felt so disrespected in my entire life and expect better from a man wearing a tuxedo. One star.
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@AGreaterMonster: The beauty of meditation is it helps instill inner peace in someone that makes it easy to pick his pockets.
@Bob_Janke: If you immediately tell new people you meet you're allergic to chocolate, you can eat all of their candy bars when they aren't looking.
@smithsara79: Me: *crying* B-but... but you said... Waiter: *sigh* "Unlimited" breadsticks, I know ma'am, but we're closing now & you have to go