@shutupmikeginn: Just tried to watch a James Bond movie and wow, first thing that happens is he walks into frame and fires his gun at me, the viewer. I have never felt so disrespected in my entire life and expect better from a man wearing a tuxedo. One star.
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@UncleDuke1969: [cabin rentals] DESK CLERK: You want cabin #5 or #6? ME: What’s the difference? DESK CLERK: Mostly just the names. ME: What’s #5 called? DESK CLERK: “Eden in the Woods.” ME: And, #6? DESK CLERK: “The Bear’s Lunchbox.” ME: I think #5. DESK CLERK: Smart choice.
@batkaren: TIN MAN: I want a heart COWARDLY LION: And I want courage ZOMBIE: Braaaaains ACTOR PLAYING COWARDLY LION: W-wait. Where the hell'd Ray go?
@SortaBad: tonight at the bar, ask a woman if you can buy her a drink. If she says yes, hand that lucky lady a Starbucks gift card and walk away