@AimeeHelene1

Just watched a guy walk into the wall, because he couldn’t decide if he should go left or right. The future of humanity scares me.

You Might Also Like

@6stringSpecial

Today at crossfit, i changed a tire on an old tractor. I think the trainer has just been charging me to do shitty chores at his dad’s house.

@protolalia

I’m 39 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.

@E_lok44

I’m sorry the hint I dropped on you was tied to an anvil.

@SpaceCatPics

“removed the top of my desk for cleaning. cat did not understand”

@bridger_w

If you’re pulled over, wait for the cop to lean down to your window, then use their vulnerability to give them a quick peck on the cheek

@ticknada

Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don’t fool me. Oh that’s your bf. You still don’t fool me.

@House_Feminist

Me: this is my favorite place to do cartwheels but you have to watch out for the rocks
Date: those are headstones

@jake_likes_naps

[at bar]

Gee, I’m so hungry I could eat a horse

*nearby horse slams down his whisky*

COME ON THEN TOUGH GUY

*horse throws the 1st punch*