It was the third time that summer they’d dug up her garden, and Barbara decided it was time to send the bunnies a message.
[karate sign up table]
“Ok guys with a ponytail or that are named Vince please form a second line you are the advanced class”
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I love the people in parking lots with “free kittens” signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn’t be oppressed.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but…
seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
My mother-in-law’s text alert is an entire song. Starting to think my father-in-law’s rage isn’t really from Vietnam.
People that are stoned shouldn’t throw glass houses.
there was a sandwich. on the edge of the counter. and now there isn’t. those are all the details. we can confirm so far. the piece of lettuce on my nose. is purely circumstantial
There once was a poet on Twitter
who grew increasingly bitter.
He couldn’t surmount
the strict character count
and so his poems got even shi
Sex so mediocre, she makes you a blandwich…
My wife and I used to describe our marriage as ‘forever’, now we both prefer the term ‘ad nauseam’.