@Jandalize

Karma is my daughter bragging about getting to sleep late this week and forgetting to turn off her alarm.

Karma is my daughter bragging about getting to sleep late this week and forgetting to turn off her alarm.

- @Jandalize

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Me: She really needs to calm down.

Alcohol: You should tell her.

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Given the American diet, don’t you think we’d have greater success locating missing children if we put their faces on liters of soda?

@stevevsninjas

The average person swallows 30-50 feral hogs in their sleep every year.

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