Kate on Facebook can’t believe the ordacity of some people.

I can’t believe the audacity of people who use big words that they can’t spell.

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Pharrell Williams put out a fire on Kim Kardashian’s dress this week. Dude is really taking that Smokey the Bear hat of his to heart.


Based on how he reacts, you’d think my dog’s entire family was killed by pizza delivery guys.


Don’t model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable.


Why do I have to use leaves as toilet paper when I go camping while we have bears out there using Charmin?


You don’t see enough ditches these days. If I want to pass out in a ditch I have to google “ditches near me” and look for one with good reviews and it’s a whole thing


I dug a small hole in the Earth.

I did a handstand.

Im wearing the Earth as a hat.


My husband’s family tree is more like a rosebush.
It’s filled with pricks.


Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes.