@panmidwest: Keep things interesting by delicately sneaking ice cubes into your friends' pockets
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@six_2_and_even: Honey can you pick up some bananas, melons, peaches, eggplants and clams at the Innuendo Market?
@AmishPornStar1: I'm not saying she's worse than my mom... But my wife doesn't seem to like any of my girlfriends.
@amberfw: A mom sat down next to me at the park, smiled and asked, "Which one's yours?" I replied, "None of them... yet."