@GrantTanaka: I've been in Hawaii for a week & have learned that 99% of life's problems can be solved by throwing a coconut at it

@Chloestylo: Just saw a car with "Just Married" on the back window. Do people still do that? Get married, I mean..

@pizzajaynow: I've spent the last six months trying to find my Mother-In-Law's killer, but no one is willing to do it.

@Coolisiana: GOD- "I will send a plague that will kill all living things on earth" *Fish slip the LORD a $20* "On second thought how about a flood?"

@newLettuce: Me: You think you're soooo cool, wearing shades indoors My lamps: