[kelloggs meeting]
“okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?”
a chicken
“jim is there something wrong at home?”

You Might Also Like


it takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong but it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut


At this point most of the hugs I’m involved in are just my kids using me as a napkin.


Whenever customer service agents say that they’re recording the phone call, I’ve started saying, “I am too.”

Service is way better.


I’m not above army crawling down an aisle at the grocery store to avoid small talk with an acquaintance.


Wife: “Would you like to help me….?”
Translation: “Do it or die.”


Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.


No I don’t want to watch the video on your phone. My phone doesn’t like me looking at other phones.