Whatever you need to tell yourself, Amazon
Kids these days won’t get the trauma of passing notes in class and hoping nobody reads it until it reaches the recipient.
You Might Also Like
My pastor insists that being gay is wrong, yet he ends all his letters with the words “In Him”
Perplexed in Poughkeepsie
If a dog has puppies in a public place, can they be arrested for littering?
ME: [slowly peeling back sock] It hurts so bad doc, is it gangrene?
DOCTOR: [leaning in with tweezers] Hmm, I see, it appears to be… a red Lego
[helping my only child do homework]
5: can you help?
Me: I’m awful with numbers
Do you like Taco Bell? Then you’ll LOVE real food!
Who called it a Spanish teacher instead of an instruction Manuel?
I always feel a little guilty when a bum catches me eating food out of the garbage because I want to, not because I need to.
[girl brings me back to her apartment]
her: come to bed
me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]
“The N stands for number – so no need to say ‘PIN number’.
“Terribly sorry, I’ll start again: ‘You’re dead if you don’t give me your PIN’.