@dshack8: KiK? Nope. I only joke about divorce. I'm not committed to it actually happening.
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@jonnysun: LIFE HACK: eat a cookie evry time u hav a good idea. this asociates idea w/ cookie. now evry time u eat a cookie u will think of a good idea
@AsgardianRose: Harry Potter: A Shortened Version Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter. Everyone else: Lol, no.
@girlontapas: Me at work: If there’s an emergency, you can text me. Next day: Allow me to define “emergency”.
@NYorNothing: Me: We should set up a play date Hot dad at park: You have a kid? Me: No, I said WE should