Kim and Kanye are now planning to have their wedding in Egypt. See Egyptians, things could always be worse.

You Might Also Like


me: expecto patronum!

[30 minutes later a sloth crawls out of my wand and goes to sleep]


I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence.


Remember when you were a kid and the TV set in your basement weighed 8,000 pounds?


I do, however, think Starbucks should arrest people who are just pretending to write.


Facebook now tags fake news stories from sites like The Onion with #satire to protect users who lack 1st grade critical thinking skills.


[police station]
“sir you get one phone call.”
[calls 911]
“hello 911 what’s your emergency?”
yeah a bunch of pricks are holding me hostage.


BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence taking 2-year break from acting.

Vin Diesel is also taking a break from acting, but will keep making movies.


MY BODY: You should exercise

ME: That sounds good

MY BODY: Because it’s heathy

ME: Yeah!

MY BODY: And makes you feel good

ME: Definitely!

MY BODY: Let’s go exercise!

ME: I’m lost


If you want her – tell her.
If you need her – show her.
If you yearn for her – touch her.

Just make sure her husband’s not at home.