Kim Davis says war has been declared on traditional marriage. Still unclear is which of her four marriages is under attack.

You Might Also Like


I believe in you. But I also believe in aliens, big foot, and werewolves so don’t get too excited.


“Only a good guy with a forest fire can prevent forest fires” – Smokey the NRA Bear


WIFE: What are you doing?

ME: [struggling on floor] Yoga

WIFE: At the bottom of the stairs?


WIFE: You fell down the stairs

ME: Yes


[First day as a mortician]

Me: Anybody seen my grapes?


Widow: *looking down at casket* His eyes look weird


me: wow Pokemon names are getting more and more ridiculous, don’t you think so?

taco bell employee: *nods* taco bell employee


My friend told me her kids don’t get dessert every night which really confused me. Like, what does she use to bribe them to eat their dinner?!


COVID-19 helping people realise that some meetings can be emails.


Me: You get your smarts from me.
My kid: Yep, I got your mustache too. Heyooo!
So, free to a good home if anyone wants a kid.


[performance review]

boss: what would you say is your biggest strength

me: i’m consistent

boss: but you’re late every morning

me: ya