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@WritePlay: *knuckle tats*
( S | H | H | H) ( H | H | H | H )
(I'm a librarian)
@jazz_inmypants: whoa i just got a fortune cookie that said “people will literally eat fried cardboard if u tell them there’s a secret inside lmao”
@secondofhername: Winters, when your handwriting turns out the same no matter which hand you use.
@ClickBaite: I always carry a pocket of spare bolts at the carnival and hand two or three to the person taking the seat after me. "I found these. Weird?"
@seamussaid: I suppose you can take my cold dead hand when you pry it from my warm live one and charge me w/unlawful possession of human remains
@Home_Halfway: *Woman throws a drink in my face but I swallow it all perfectly*