If you add the word “extraordinaire” to your job title you kick up your credibility another notch and earn your colleagues trust and respect without even trying.
Label: Non-habit forming
Me: Challenge accepted
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Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, “what kinda robot does that one turn into?”
one bad part of this whole thing is having had to explain to my 6 year old how if the easter bunny tries to come into our house i’ll have to kill it
The best thing about working at my office is that you can literally use as much toilet paper as you want in the restroom.
A wise Chinese man once said,
“If a dog barks it’s undercooked”
I never had to swim for my life in a shark attack but once I had to doggy-paddle really fast to get out of a pool when it was dessert time.
Funerals have gotten so expensive: at mom’s, after paying for the bouncy house, clowns & pony rides, we couldn’t afford a decent magic show.
I’m a puzzle wrapped in an enigma hidden inside a set of Russian Nesting Dolls, so deep, so profound that – what? Yes, I’ll have fries.
I’ve gained 20lbs since the election. If Trump stays in office much longer I’ll have to chain myself to a girl in a gold bikini.
I went out of town for a few days and came home to my dog who seems to want to have a word with me about it.