Ladies, have you ever slept with a man because he has a big fish that he caught in his profile picture?

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Apparently If ur BF says “if anything happens to me,I want u to meet someone new….”
“anything” doesn’t include getting stuck in


Each time a person sneezes on an airplane, that sneeze circulates the entire airplane cabin before being filtered out by vents.


I swallowed a Ice Cube and I haven’t pooped it out yet, I’m really scared you guys.


saw someone spill their high end juice cleanse all over the sidewalk and now I know god is on my side


Just realized that my bf never asked me to be his gf and we never established that we are dating. We just like live together and have a baby together. But we don’t have an anniversary or anything. Omg are we dating? Is it too late to ask what are we? What if we are just friends


Him: Hey
*Googles a cute reply*
*looks at Wikipedia*
*reads up on crime scenes*
*forgets to write back*


I don’t come into YOUR bathroom and tell YOU how to tweet.


People at the gym in January who dress like they’re obsessed with working out won’t be there by, probably the end of this sentence.


Somewhere out there, there must be a toddler who has eaten all of their dinner after only being asked once. I want to believe.