Who’s the man who, with
just the slightest touch-
gives you chills and makes
you tremble with anticipation ?
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“Give your email a good password. Letters, symbols, numbers.”
“What about my atm card which holds all my money?”
“Any 4 numbers in a row.”
I Google image searched the phrase “Google image search” and accidentally opened a portal to hell.
I never really understood the tiny house trend, but then I saw one where the bed was literally in the kitchen, and now I get it.
Anna: If you don’t wanna build a snowman I feel bad for you, son.
Elsa: I got 99 problems but the cold ain’t one.
Saw a unicorn using a phone booth and all I can think is, who is she calling?
If I give my dog a toy that doesn’t make an unbearably annoying noise she looks at me like I have no clue how to do anything right in life.
just overheard a conversation
“You’re a tutor, right?”
“What subjects do you toot?”
ME: i want you to meet my parents
HER: uhh, don’t you think it’s a little too early for that?
ME: nah, it’s after 7, they should be home by now
The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I’m cured.