@beardofprey: last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D
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@_shellzbellzzz_: Ever look at your frequently used emojis and realize that your two moods are drunk and circus tents?
@capnwatsisname: Me: it’s hot enough to fry an egg on the concrete Public Health Inspector: temperature is not really the issue here
@DoneEffedUp: Im going out tonight with my new friends, dont wait up! *runs into the sunset with a pack of wild squirrels*