@NicolaJSwinney: Leaflet through the door telling me I can enjoy sex at 75. Which is handy, because I live at number 81.
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@ComedicBust: WIFE: Why are you bleeding? ME [recovering alcoholic]: *flashback to sliding across the hood of my car in the Arby’s parking lot* BAR FIGHT
@TashyP_: Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it's probably just as well real lightsabers aren't available yet.
@stockejock: Grandma, stop asking people what they're supposed to be for Halloween-this is Walmart.