Looks like someone’s been slipping steroids into Garfield’s lasagna again.
‘Leave no stone unturned’ is good advice if you’re looking for something that crawls out from under rocks.
You Might Also Like
So rude of Ashton Kutcher to file divorce papers right before Demi Moore’s 150th birthday.
Guys who resent their friends for not sharing their hair products are gel less.
Instructor: Dude, you’re not gonna run out of ammo
Me [strapping bayonet to the end of gun]: let’s just agree to disagree
First man discovered fire. Then he invented the wheel. Then there was, like, 500 years where he just kept setting the wheel on fire.
I’ve reached a tipping point in life where my interest in baked goods is greater than my interest in men and I’m calling this new chapter doughs before bros
This Polar Bear is my spirit animal
Him: it’d be nice if you were a little more enthusiastic
Me: *pulls out giant foam finger*
Me: Guys, enough with the trash talk. Who called this meeting?
7 raccoons on Zoom:
The ocean isn’t shark-infested. It’s the ocean. That’s where sharks live. We aren’t supposed to be there. Humans infest the ocean.