@DaddyJew
@markleggett Google+ is not a “ghost town”, because a town filled with ghosts would actually be fun.
You Might Also Like
@markleggett 
@nickbilton My son (4 years old), who has grown up watching us talk to Siri and Alexa, thinks you can talk to anything that has a screen or is plugged into the wall. This morning he told the toaster to order him a new lego set.
@Brianhopecomedy Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could’ve sworn she mouthed the word “crap”.
@Schmoodles Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker’s 60th birthday, ‘cake’ is not code for ‘stripper.’
Live & learn, guys.
@reputathebeauta If you are interested in me, now is the time to shoot your shot. My standards are incredibly low.
@U_Want_Shum_M8 Robber: Give me all your money.Otherwise you are chemistry!
ME: Don’t you mean history?
R: Don’t change the subject!
*Both start laughing
@SeanINCypress Bad news is I’m not fluent in Starbucks. Good news is I ordered a skinny Latin, and Marc Anthony is a real sweetheart.
@MJMcKean Restaurant chain commercials should run the disclaimer “Actual food might not tumble and splash in slow motion”.
@NicestHippo “Instagram announced they will allow users to see who viewed their profile…”
*wakes up in cold sweat*
@UnfilteredMama My greatest accomplishment as a parent has been convincing my kids that Chuck E Cheese closes for “flu season.”