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@QwertyJones3: [leaving the synagogue]
I always thought rabbi was just the plural of rabbit
@thedailymarker: When life gives me lemons, I make lemon meringue pie..because lemonade is for amateurs...& because I'm gay..& we always take it up a notch.
@buhsbaby_baby: Liquor Store Cashier: Wow! Big party this weekend?
@SeinfeldToday: George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:”It’s too desperate.” J:”How’d you find out?” G:”I’m on both."
@OrangeFact: ME AT HOME: I'll eat a whole pizza & a tub of ice cream for dinner
ME ON A DATE: *just chewing on tree bark* this is all I need to survive
@wickedimproper: Who called it a vasectomy and not a cull de sack?