Is a pamphlet just a smaller pamph? What the heck is a pamph? People make no sense.
Left water in the car in case I was thirsty & now I can boil pasta in my mouth.
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How to get a job on Game of Thrones:
Q: Can you act?
Q: Will you get naked?
Our government needs REFORM, we need to make it ILLEGAL to put fake pockets on women’s clothing
Hot housemate: I miss my boyfriend
Me: The doctor?
Her: He never comes over anymore
Me *smiling at my room full of apples* yeah it’s so weird
In time, the dust settled, and the dust took a job it hated and married someone it could barely tolerate
me: I had to sell my car to make rent this month
therapist: how does that make you feel
me: pretty tired I walk a lot
The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.
I love when people complain about other people’s kids like other people’s grown ups aren’t way worse
Mufasa: my son, present your first antelope kill
Simba: *hiding cantaloupe behind his back* my what now
Scar: *whispering* lmao I’m the lyin’ king