@ceejoyner

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone if you want babies throwing rocks everywhere. Dangerous.

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@LMLMadness

Sleeping Beauty is my favorite story about how any sweet princess will activate her fire breathing dragon if you wake her up from a nap.

@pleasantchime

I do so love when I’m not on twit for a few hours and when I come back there’s something that everyone’s alluding to and I get to slowly piece together what happened like I’m reading the log on an abandoned ship

@Cheeseboy22

Fun fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, “Marco” and then an even fainter, “Polo.”

@AthenaMystique

When cute black and white bears start communing with spirits, it’s pandanormal.

@CheryeDavis

Of all the grotesque sounds coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most disturbing!!

@torrami

Our wifi is down and I had to fap using only my imagination like some kind of savage 🙁

@thenatewolf

There are so many people outside, and so much yelling, and I genuinely genuinely don’t know if it’s a murder or a rare Pokemon.

@Jade_VK

FRIEND WHO JUST RECEIVED MAGICAL POWERS: idk what I should do first
FRIEND WHO IS TRAPPED IN AN OIL PAINTING FOR SOME REASON: I have an idea

@noogscorner

Hendrix didn’t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.

@pro_worrier_

You think that parenting is going to be all cute quotes and funny memories then you sit down for dinner and your 9yo asks you what you know about the dark web.