@Julian_Deane

Let’s move on now. if I had a pound for every time I heard a Brexit joke this week I’d nearly have a Euro.

You Might Also Like

@girlneuy

“Give me pizza or give me death…” my history loving son’s version of a threat.

@icrushedmyhalo

Raise the roof!
The roof is on fire!
Hit the club!
Bust those moves!
Burning the dance floor!

– RL partying sounds so violent

@DadandBuried

I don’t always drink iced coffee, but when I do, it’s because my kids prevented me from drinking it hot so I gave up and added some ice.

@flowersofmyself

The worst thing about middle aged dating is you legitimately don’t know if you’ve been ghosted or the object of your affections has just died.

@3_livi

How to make a grown man cry.
Take him shopping with you.

@myss_you_too

Her: undress me with your words

Him: I just saw a spider go down your top

@ThugRaccoons

[Homeschool field trip to the laundry room]

Kids: Dad, what IS this place?

Me: I have absolutely no idea

@7notyours

Dog pissed about wearing cone after surgery. Dog spends night banging cone against walls, keeping human awake.
Dog-1
Human-0