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@: life is an endless cycle of shame, terror and pain punctuated by brief moments of pizza
@seanyeatts: My parents just googled me and now they're crying
@OneFunnyMummy: I don't know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have.
@voldemortsbicep: Him: I like meatier girls.
Me: I killed the dinosaurs.
@TheToddWilliams: [Bethsaida 28 AD]
BAKER: Such a huge crowd…I'm gonna sell so many loaves
"Five loaves please"
"Jesus is here"
@SteveDutzy: Luigi: You got your own land, world & galaxy. Can I have Mario Mansion?
Mario: ok fine [under breath] gonna put a bunch of ghosts in it tho