@majoleaguetweet

Life is like a box of chocolates,
The good ones are always gone before I get there!

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@Social_Mime

I’m banned from Church ever since I yelled “fake news” one too many times.

@Home_Halfway

In high school I was voted class clown after I gave people red balloons and dragged them into the sewer.

@Mike_Bianchi

Take me down to the paranoid city where the grass is TRYING TO KILL ME and the girls are CONSPIRING AGAINST ME

@AndrewNadeau0

Wolverine was named that because he was a combination of a wolf and a nectarine I will not be taking questions at this time.

@AnnietheNanny1

If I was a Disney princess I’d most likely be Tacobelle.

Thanks for reading.

@Traceylei2

Tried to get my 7 year old cousin to play Hungry Hungry Hippos but the fences at the zoo are really high.

@realHamOnWry

I’m no different than the average working guy. I have two arms, two legs and 4.2 billion dollars. ~ Donald Trump