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@tjcirimele: Listen, I hate you...
I'm just not... IN hate with you.
@TheSharona06: Oh, I see you're an extrovert. Sorry, we can't be friends. I already have a friend who's an extrovert. One of you is enough.
@1MeLrO: Yes advice is free, but so are throat punches
@chimneyspotter: *reads online that you should befriend your coworkers with some water cooler talk*
ME (to coworker): So, are you into water coolers?
@dubstep4dads: girl: wanna have car sex?
me looking out the window at my car nervously: um... do I... do I put it in the muffler
@evecullen610: I didn't have to shower alone today.....
Related.......why the hell are there spiders in the winter?