Little known Chinese proverb – He who walks barefoot in a dog’s backyard will be sorry

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“Tight End”
“Ball handling”
Don’t the networks have censors any more?


Apparently, it’s considered bad form to bring their luggage to the graduation ceremony.



me: four dots in his neck, i suspect two vampires

british officer: what about that bloody fork

me: this is no time to eat sir


Midrand traffic is caused by married men who don’t want to go home after work..


If you carry a clipboard, put a pen behind your ear, wear a stopwatch around your neck, and, depending on where you are, wear either a lab coat or a reflective safety vest you can pretty much walk right in anywhere you like.


Her: I can’t believe you got us kicked out of my cousin’s wedding.

Me: They totally overreacted. People have been throwing rice at newlyweds for centuries!

Her: Pork fried rice??


Okay, you got me, I’m not really a gynecologist. What gave it away? Was it the tongue thing?


If you ask me to hold your drink, I will.

But I will also drink it. So..you know.


This boot was made for walking.
This other boot was made for finding dog poop, apparently.


Those traps inside ancient temples still work after thousands of years but you sit on your ear buds ONE time…