@Ant_F3ltz: Little known fact: If you ride any animal in the zoo for more than 30 seconds... it's yours to keep.
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@Gupton68: I lock the closet that holds my skeletons very tightly. Learned that lesson the hard way after the dog ran off with the wife’s femur.
@XAIMMadellynne: I was having a good day until my imaginary friend stole my coloring book & crayons & he demands $100 for their return. What a stressful day!
@Fred_Delicious: "my dad works at Nintendo" "No he doesn't ur such a liar" *Donkey Kong walks in & takes off his hat & coat* "Hey sport, good day at school?"
@pauleggleston: -Hello, RSPCA. -Hello. There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan. -I don't believe you. -Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret.