@crunchenhanced

Little known fact:

Centipede’s are the Metric version of Inchworms.

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@AlsBoy

The longer you look at this the better it gets

@mjkspeaks

Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?

@LittleMissAngr1

Them: why are you wearing a cape?

Me: i feel naked without it

Them: you are naked

Me: no, i’m wearing my cape

@amydillon

Your loss, middle school cheerleading squad. Turns out I’m really good at yelling at people.

@kavoinooi

I hate when my cat brings in a dead bird and I have to pretend I enjoy eating it so I don’t hurt his feelings

@Steven37366100

I’ve been barred from the local Mexican restaurant for repeatedly bringing and summoning my waiter with my personal maracas

@ThugRaccoons

A thoughtful Romcom about mansplaining called “Well, Actually”