@msdanifernandez

Little Mermaid: I want to be where the people are
Me: trust me u dont

You Might Also Like

@daemonic3

In a dog eat dog world, the chocolate lab is the most delicious, yet poisonous of all breeds.

@GoodZiIIa

Friend: what are your 2018 resolutions?

Me: I didn’t even make 1, let alone 2018 of them

@TweetPotato314

the twelve days of christmas is completely unrealistic there is no way that you’re still accepting gifts from someone after four days of birds

@CoryBooker

“Sleep” and I broke up a few nights ago. I’m dating “Coffee” now. She’s Hot!

@OMGSoOverIt

Oh my God. You try to run him over one time and he never lets you forget it.

@joshgondelman

In retrospect, “Metallica” is a hilarious name for a metal band.
It’s like a Bob Dylan calling himself “Ol’ Folksy.”