“Live each day like it’s your last”

Wow okay but that’s A LOT of flipping the bird at everyone

You Might Also Like


“So,why r all Arabs terrorists?”
‘There’s 369,243,763 Arabs.If they were mostly terrorists,you’d be dead’


All it takes is a “food dreadful, service poor” Yelp review to get your mother-in-law to stop inviting you to Sunday dinner.


Just calculated my BMI and found out I should be 47ft tall.


Diet day 1: kale, kale everywhere

Diet day 1.5: snorting powdered sugar off of a Dairy Queen flyer while flipping pancakes


“Why haven’t you been answering my pigeons?” – 17th century sext


Wow she actually noticed me!

Time to pick a different tree.


In the old days if you wanted to hit snooze you had to shoot the rooster with a tranq dart that lasted exactly 9 minutes


I just deleted the same tweet twice for two different typos and now I can’t tweet it again because it’s already been stolen