To be honest, the only thing I really like about being a grownup is getting to eat a Popsicle right after I finish eating a Popsicle.
Living well is the best revenge. Hitting them with your car is a close second, though.
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your word is ‘hors d’oeuvre’
“can you use it in a sentence?”
yes…’I bet this kid can’t spell hors d’oeuvre’
MURDER HORNET: 2020 is my year
BRAIN-EATING AMOEBA: hold my contaminated tap water
I haven’t won anything since I did my kid’s fifth grade science fair project.
Legend of Tarzan 2:
Tarzan meets other primates.
He befriends them all.
He teaches them to fight.
It’s a prequel to Planet of the Apes.
*Sees cute barista*
No whipped cream please
*Sees his backward sunglasses*
Never mind. Load it up.
I’m extremely good at being so close to getting a prediction right.
I’m like an Almostradamus.
You guys, The Hunger Games movie is distracting us from reality- which is, of course, The Hunger Games.
I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters
*sees McChicken video*
*goes back to church*