ME: All my life I’ve been judged. Quit doing drugs! Don’t sleep around!
JUDGE: We have the murder weapon.
ME: Again, with the judging.
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Sorry, FROM. Saving myself FROM marriage.
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[fall and winter]
I’d go for a walk after work, but it’s too dark.
It’s nice out and the days are getting longer. I think I’ll go for a w– *tornado siren sounds*
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I’m 47 so I assume she’s gonna show me where to buy comfortable shoes & soft licorice