@scot7a

LOGIC: Obviously, the end of the week is the “weekend”

CALENDARS:
What if I offe
red you ano
ther idea of what “week
end” means?

You Might Also Like

@Love_bug1016

The person who is your first and last thought of the day is either the one who has your heart, or who’s murder you’re secretly plotting.

@robdelaney

Why DOES “February” have that extra R? It should just be “Februay.”

@Gupton68

Alcohol is generally the answer. Especially when the question is ‘why can’t I remember what the question is?’

@copymama

My 8yo just reasoned that I should clean up the mess from her craft project because I was the one who suggested she do the craft project.

Laziness level: expert.

@TasiaBass28

Dig one moat around your house and everyone’s all “you’re being unreasonable” and “where did you get the alligators”

@Maxine12333

If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.

@i_wantMyBiitch

Never ask Google for relation advice.
I’ve gone from small disagreement to getting two mails from divorce lawyers in three clicks.