If it takes 13 muscles to smile and 33 to frown, how do we tell if someone’s happy and not just lazy?
Look sad dragging a kite on the ground at the park and sometimes people will let you join their picnic.
You Might Also Like
Me: got the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos
Iron Man: snap and bring everyone back
Me: [turning things into puppies] hold on
“50 Cent for 2Pacs of Eminems!? That’s Ludacris!”
If I had a twin, whenever someone asked which one of us was older, I’d tell them that we both came out at the exact same time.
Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.
[at my funeral]
*casket falls onto the floor*
Mum: that’s the quickest I’ve ever seen him move
Dad: lol owned
FACT : Half of all missing person reports involve people trying to find their way out of IKEA.
*Likes your fan page* *Hides activity from timeline*
Idiom update: “the pot calling the kettle black” is now “the guy from Aerosmith accusing a dude of looking like a lady”
Fact: If you get pulled over, as the cop is walking up to you, place an aluminum foil hat on your head and you disappear from his vision.