@Shingaboop: Look UPS guy, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to have pants on.
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@Smooheed: I'm the kind of girl people don't look twice at Even when I hit them hard with a shopping trolley one, two, thr... Yep, now he's looking
@torii_somerss: bf took me to get undies n he wanted to embarrass me so he said real loud: “i can’t wait to rip these off with my teeth” n i replied with: “seriously u need to stop, ur my brother” i won
@misfarber: I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I'm being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I'm talking about
@Home_Halfway: DATE: Say hi to my family. This is my mom ME: This is your mom? She looks like she'd be your sister! DATE'S MOM: Aww stop it DATE: This is my grandma ME: This is your grandma? She looks like she's 5 DATE'S GRANDMA: What DATE: This is my great grandma ME: She doesn't look born yet