@DevilryFun: Looking back, my financial health took a turn for the worse right after I broke my piggy bank.
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@lisaxy424: No one has done the dishes for like a week so I finally did the responsible thing and bought some paper plates.
@PaperFury: WHY WRITERS ARE STARING AT NOTHING • they're actually working shh this is the process • haven't slept in 19 years so this is a power nap • hoping a bakery will appear • just fell down a plot hole and horror is setting in • about to scream • any second now • oh here they go
@MyPolishFace: Me: We should go to the gym more often. Him: I hate it there. It's like a meat market. And I'm the expired meat.
@Brianhopecomedy: Grandmother: "So what is Skype?" *Explains in great detail on how it works* "So do I need a computer for it?" "I JUST...how's your cat?"