@Stellacopter: Looking like shit greatly increases your chances of seeing someone you know at the store by 90%.
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@fishbowel: Me: how can I prepare for this meeting? Friend: we can do a mock interview Me: ok Friend: why should we hire you Me: wHy ShOuLd wE HiRe yOu
@robfee: Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma? I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana
@AudreyPorne: hate when people say "if u think this is better than sex, u haven't had good sex!", like no, maybe you've just never had good lasagna, Carol