If you haven’t learned to use overlapping circles to demonstrate relationships Venn vill you?
*Looks around nervously* The steam from my pasta is ungluing my chest hair toupee and the other mafia bosses are taking notice.
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squirrel mom: Remember what I told you
squirrel son: “Always look both ways before I finish crossing the street”
Pennies from heaven would actually be quite devastating.
I’m voting for whoever my cat thinks I should and my vote counts just as much as yours
me: thanks for explaining what a plethora is
her: ur welcome
me: it really means a lot
Her: stop kicking everything you don’t feel like picking up under the refrigerator
*from under the refrigerator*
IDEAL UBER DRIVER:
-Doesn’t talk to me during drive
-Plays good music
-When he drops me off tells me he’s my father who left when I was 4 & has secretly followed my life and has always been proud of me
Were there this many idiots before the Internet?
INTERVIEWER: what’s your greatest strength?
ME: shape shifting
INTERVIEWER: is that so?
INTERVIEWER: holy shit
HIM: if you have a moment, I’d like to talk to you about Jesus
ME: are his grades slipping again