be careful out there! #FiftyShadesOfGrey
Looks at today’s news…. hears Benny Hill theme.
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*rolls up sleeves*
*gets high on sleeves*
every time the weather starts to warm up those fraps start lookin goooood
“What a tangled web we weave”
Hipster sushi restaurants only serve eye rolls.
I have a Chewbacca bathrobe and didn’t shave my legs so I’d have pants to match.
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers.
“Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?” SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!
“Stop hitting me.”
‘If more than one mouse is mice,
then more than one Spouse is Spice.’
Jesus, don’t take the wheel. Give me your keys. Sober up.
*hands cup of water*
DON’T TURN THAT INTO WINE AGAIN