@Brianhopecomedy: Looks like my wife snuck a love note into my pocket which is pretty cute, although I don't know what "DNR" means.
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@Book_Krazy: Nick's coming over Nick from work, or Nick who thinks he's a scorpion? *Nick bursts through the door* HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
@fro_vo: [spelling bee] Judge: your word is tennis Me: s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s Judge: Me: Judge: please spell it again i lost count
@abhorrent_wife: The 4 year old thinks a cat's tail is it's underwear because it covers the butthole. I can't really argue with that logic.